GREEN
GOLF BALLS
A golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro asks him what he wants. "I can't find any
green golf balls," the golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogues,
and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough,
there are no green golf balls.
As the golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks him,
"Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf
balls?"
"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to
find in the sand traps!"
A
SPECIAL GOLF BALL
A golfer,
playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy
little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before
you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You
can never lose it!"
"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never
lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and
it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping
sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if
your round goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling
you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he
says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."
ARNOLD PALMER
& TIGER WOODS
Arnold Palmer and Tiger
Woods are playing the 16th hole, when Tiger's tee shot lands behind
a huge, 100 foot fir tree. Tiger looks at Arnie and says, "How
would you play this one? Lay up and take the extra stroke?"
Arnold replies: "When I was your age, I'd just play right
over this tree."
Tiger, not wanting to be shown up by ol' Arnold Palmer, proceeds
to hit the ball high, but not high enough. It bounces off the
tree and lands out of bounds. Tiger, really annoyed at this point,
asks Arnold how he EVER hit a ball over that tree.
Arnold replied: "Well, when I was your age, that tree was
only three feet tall."
HOLE IN ONE
Why do golfers always
carry two pairs of trousers with them ?
Just in case they had a hole in one.
BACK SPIN
An amateur was talking to his golf pro.
Amateur: "How do you get so much backspin?''
Pro: "Before I answer that, tell me, how far do you hit a
5 iron?''
Amateur: "About 130.''
Pro: "Then why in the world would you want the ball to spin
back !?''
THE NOVICE
A retiree was given
a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game,
he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing
whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just
hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway
and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what ?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup."
the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great ! so NOW you tell me." said the beginner in
a disgusted tone.
